Check Out My Butt in Oxygen Magazine!

Flip to page 108 in the March 2009 issue of Oxygen, and you'll see a close-up of my caboose.

That's right! For the fourth time, my booty is featured in one of my favorite fitness mags.

I must admit—I'm happy with how it looks. But it didn't feel that way while Paul Buceta, photographer extraordinaire, was telling me to arch my back, stick out my butt and hold it while he snapped away!

In fact, I didn't know much about modeling until I started doing photo shoots. Contrary to popular belief, modeling is a lot tougher than it looks.

The exercises demonstrated in magazines look pretty typical. But for a photo shoot, the art director and photographer work together to position you in certain angles that feel unnatural—and it's not always easy to hold those positions until they've captured the perfect shot.

They do this intentionally, of course, so that the reader sees the appropriate muscle groups once the magazine is laid out. And even though it can be uncomfortable, it's well worth it for the end result.

My favourite part of photo shoots is getting my hair and make-up done. Anyone who knows me knows that I typically look like a ragamuffin. Seriously, you wouldn't think I was a model! My hair is usually in a matted ponytail from my morning cardio, and I'm so rushed to get to work after training that I often don't even button my shirt correctly. Even worse, colleagues have pointed out holes I've torn in dress shirts by accidentally flexing my lats! (Thank you very much, Lina.)

And if that's not bad enough, my pants are falling off because I'm dieting again.

Hmm. Sounds like I need to work on a few things in my day-to-day appearance!

But once I'm at the studio, the transformation begins! Hair and make-up are done, wardrobe is assigned, my body is oiled up and … WHAM! I feel beautiful! BAM! I'm ready for my close-up!

I've also learned a lot from the shoots I've done. One of the most important lessons I've picked up is that you have to feel confident and smile naturally. A forced smile is obvious and will ruin a photo.

Try it for yourself: Take one photo with a forced smile and then a second with a natural smile and compare the two. Natural smiles need to come from within.

During my last photo shoot, I thought about things that made feel happy … particularly what I was going to eat as soon as I left the photoshoot—carrot cake!

Naturally, the fact that I've been lucky enough to appear in Oxygen also makes me smile. This shoot, like the others, was a fantastic experience—one that helped me grow as a model and as a person.

And I'm looking forward to future growth (just hopefully not from the carrot cake).

Finding Inspiration at the Olympia!

We all go through slumps during training.

Motivation? Where are you?

Often, we ask ourselves why we pursue such an unforgiving sport. Our muscles ache, our moods are unpredictable, we can't seem to lose weight fast enough for a show, and we feel alone.

Ice cream is calling, and we are close to picking up the phone—or a spoon.

I felt this way last fall. Post-competition blues hit me harder than ever. Training seemed meaningless. But then the opportunity of a lifetime came along: I was asked to present awards at the 2008 Olympia.

Backstage, the air was electric! Smelling the Pro Tan and seeing the stage lit up was intoxicating. I was drunk on excitement!

I watched each athlete in utter awe and admiration. I studied their movements, their energy and their presence. In those precious moments, I fell in love with competing all over again.

My happiest memory from the Olympia was presenting the Fitness Olympia award to the incredible Jen Hendershott.

When her name was called, I felt like I had won! She embodies fitness and is an incredible athlete, one who I look up to.

Now I secretly romanticize about competing in fitness. But I'll save that for another post.

Standing on that stage with so many of my heroes, I learned that you can't always find inspiration in the gym. So if your regimen is getting you down, go out there and get inspired!

Go to a local show or watch a video of a competitor you admire on Bodybuilding.com to get your mindset in the right space.

Or maybe you've already found your own special source of inspiration.

So tell me, what motivates you?

Take Your New Year's Resolution to Lose Weight and Shove It!

During my third workout today, I finished reading Diary of an Exercise Addict by Peach Friedman.

Fitting, huh?

In her memoir, Friedman describes how she suffers from a combination of anorexia, bulimia, overeating and overexercising. Thankfully, Friedman recovers from her eating disorder, but her struggle to refrain from relapse and accept her body continues.

The book was unsettling because I found myself relating to many of her habits and thoughts. If you're like me, you'll see yourself in this passage:

Many women work out as a way of undoing. They work out to undo what they have eaten, to lose what they have gained. They are persuaded by magazines to "fix your tummy flaws" or "lose twenty pounds by summer," and they develop a pattern of self-loathing that is perpetuated by our culture.

How many times have you found yourself running an extra mile because of those cookies you ate last night?

And how about the time you tried on those jeans you wanted, only to hide in the change room and fight back tears of disgust over your soft muffin top?

Chances are you think about your weight constantly. You think about how your exterior appearance is flawed. You think about how you'd fix it.

And you tell yourself, tomorrow I will start my diet.

I'm the first to admit that I constantly focus on my problem areas instead of accepting and loving those parts of me that are perfect.

With that said, I would like to announce my New Year's resolution: to lose my unhealthy thinking patterns that weigh down my self confidence.

And I will enjoy the journey to the stage as Anita Kus-Roberts, not as someone I'm not supposed to be.

So tell me, do you obsess over your weight? If so, does it get in the way of your normal day-to-day activity?

Dear Santa, I Think I Want Boobs for Christmas

Like clockwork, at four weeks into my training, it happens: I wake up and they're gone.

My boobs go missing!

Don't get me wrong—I'm happy to see my bodyfat drastically dropping. But less fat means less chest, and I feel like my femininity just flew out the window!

So, given my constant competing and weight fluctuations, I've been thinking of sending the following letter to Santa.

Dear Santa,

As you know, I've been a really good girl this year. I've eaten clean during my competition training, and I've worked hard in the gym to achieve my goals.

So if you happen to have any extra silicone lying around, could you please fashion me a nice pair of breasts?

They don't have to be huge, but I'd like them to be full and round and suit my physique. I think they'll help balance my figure, so that I feel more like a lady when my estrogen runs out.

Love,

Anita

P.S. I will leave you a Nitro-Tech Cookies and Cream protein shake instead of the usual fare—it'll be healthier for you.

I was once very against breast implants—I didn't see the point.

But now I can't help but feel that girls who get them have better overall figures and a beautiful balance to their frames.

So I admit it: I am seriously thinking of saving my pennies for a beautiful pair of breasts!

Sure, I could use tricks like jellies, padding and makeup. But at the end of the day, when I ... unpack, I still feel like I belong in a copy of National Geographic, standing among the indigenous tribes of hard working women in remote areas of the world where bras don't exist.

And I don't buy that working my pecs will help fill them out—I can bench 145 pounds (for reps!), and I have yet to see an improvement.

So, my fellow figure competitors and fitness fans, I ask you this: Do you feel like girls with implants have an advantage in competition?

And if you were to get implants, would you get them under your pecs or over them?

And saline or silicone?

Let me know. I could use a little help here.

On the Road to the Arnold Classic

Five months ago, I stepped off a stage in London, Ontario, completely devastated.

I didn't make the top three in my category at the provincials. My winning streak had come to a close.

As you can imagine, I was pretty distraught. I hadn't met my goals. I had let myself down.

Then, just when I was at my lowest, something brilliant happened. A letter arrived with news that shook my world: I was accepted to compete at the Arnold Classic in 2009.

In case you're new to the sport, the Arnold Classic is one of the biggest physique events in the world. It takes place every March in Columbus, Ohio, and I'll be right there, on stage with many of the figure competitors I admire.

Me at the Arnolds—I still can't believe it! This is BIG!

Unfortunately, so am I.

After falling short in London, I fell into a depressed slump—also known as the post-competition blues. I know I should be gaining a bit of weight in my off season, but I ate every cookie that came within a 10-foot radius of my mouth!

I stuck to my weight training and a reduced cardio regimen, but it wasn't enough to counterbalance my incessant off-season snacking.

I now have a journey ahead of me: I need to drop 30 pounds by March 1st.

So watch out, Columbus! Tomorrow the transformation begins.